Newmedia on Wed, 31 Mar 1999 01:56:54 +0200 (CEST)

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<nettime> We're all Actors in the Global Theatre

Thespians (of the World Unite):

Applause all around!  Everyone is doing a great job!  Keep up the
fantastic work!  Remember, the show must go on! 

You all know your parts, have memorized your lines and studied your
entrances. Bravo . . . this is going wonderfully.  Just as scripted.  What
a marvelous mating of "viewpoints." 

Just like it says in the NYTimes, there is "descension" in the ALLIANCE.
Great!  The Labor party stalwart defends Tony Blair -- marvelous.  The
Italians and the Greeks protest -- excellent.  The American "opposition"
points out (in painfully documented detail) how guilty the Americans
really are -- right on que.  Someone shouts something about the Emperor --
and is promptly ignored (or possibly invited into the back room).  The
"challenged" are appropriately confused about who said what to whom --
adding the neccessary crowd noise. 

And, as your director, I can't tell you how personally pleased I am that
no one has been ad-libbing or stumbling around in the wings or making
things up as they go along.  Discipline is crucial.  Everyone must stay in
character if this whole Global Theater is to work.  Have fun but,
remember, there will be no awards if you don't stick to the script! 

Highlights of the play (so far): 

When the "Elders of Zion" (a group which never existed and were in all
likelyhood -- see Norman Cohn -- made up in France and then picked up by
fleeing White Russians who flooded into Germany) were confused with the
CIA (a group which even has an address) -- Strickingly authentic! 

When the whole wacky idea that Milosevic could plausibly be compared to
Hitler got batted around the ballpark, and especially when the idea that
we had "forgotten" our history (thank God no one ever reads a biography of
Himmler) and therefore carry great guilt for these failures in our past
(don't you love Social Psychology?) was run up the flagpole and solemnly
saluted -- Dazzingly ignorant! 

Remember to pick up all those soft, gooey things that you are throwing at
each other and to turn the lights out when you go home!  You kids are the

Goodnight and Don't Ever Change,

Mark Stahlman

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