Kevin Murray on Fri, 12 Jun 1998 17:43:14 +0200 (MET DST)

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<nettime> Doors@2000

[A little parable to think about the relationship between abstraction and

Meet the challenge of the next millennium with a revolution in information

The story so far:

87 Romans invent computers for calculating taxes
132 Computers linked throughout Roman Empire to form an 'Internet'
143 First Christian mailing list in operation, enabling the cult's spread
throughout Roman Empire
164 Hypertext version of the Bible uploaded
325 Internet under government of Christian Church with ROMAN Operating
450 Poor network maintenance leads to system crash; much data lost
1100 Alternative PROPHET Operating System emerges in Eastern markets
1455 The Gutenberg Bible published, a transposable VR sacred environment
1503 Leonardo constructs first virtual reality environment
1564 Luther coordinates satellite grid for computing free of ROS network
1700 CAPITAL Operating System offers dual-platform (ROS & POS) compatibility
with satellite grid
1800 Photopolymerisation plants begin nanotechnology revolution in England
1925 Wetware personal net implants
1940 Irreversible Fibre Inscription device
1991 DOORS operating system established by William Portus

and now...

The MacroHard corporation is proud to announce a revolution in information
technology--the DOORS@2000 information delivery system

The last time something this big happened was when Romans invented computers
in the first century.

>From the beginning of the first millennium, mankind has quested to extend
the reach of the information to far flung corners of the globe, and
into the depths of the human body. Having reached the limits of
information coverage, the challenge of the third millennium is now upon us.
This is the challenge of *meaning*.

For almost two thousands years, scientists, programmers and engineers have
vainly tried to develop the sophisticated systems for constructing meaning
that would fill our extensive information networks. But it took the vision
of one man, William Portus, to see the single factor that could put meaning 
within our reach.

William Portus, walking through the Sierra National Park, narrowly escaped
a falling Douglas fir tree. This experience prompted a sudden revelation:
meaning is inversely proportional to the durability of the medium. Portus
has discovered the irreversibility principle.

Scientists had already been developing the Irreversible Fibre Inscription
technology. It provided the perfect medium for Portus' vision. In little
more than a decade, the DOORS operating system was being used in 83% of
American homes. During this time there was an explosion of meaning in all
varieties: news, gossip, opinion and commentary. But this meaning technology
was still its embryonic form.

Portus knew a further challenge lay ahead. DOORS@2000 pushes meaning beyond
news, beyond editorial, beyond classifieds. Prepare yourself for the
ultimate horizon: *tradition*.

Tradition is the meaning that crosses generations and extends beyond our own
world to the time of our ancestors. Using a core Irreversible Fibre
Inscription device, DOORS@2000 adds new dimensions of bulk and awkwardness.
The InfoPort technology maximises manual effort, allowing the user to
contribute directly to the physical operation of meaning retrieval.

One of its many radical innovations is a hinged spine that allows for a hand
leaf turning operation. This spine is designed with special glues that bear
the traces of previous operation, thus allowing users to easily recover
familiar sections for careful re-reading. Optionally, users might like to
indent a corner of the page for more personalised use. MacroHard accredited
trainers are available to instruct users in leaf-turning.

This is not the end of the road. The challenges are only beginning.
MacroHard scientists are already far advanced in their quest to enhance the
manual participation of these "InfoPorts". Research has already begun on
production methods that will result in leaves that are joined prior to
using. In the future, who knows--you might be able to cut the leaves before

The future is yours--start thinking now!

Final date on the launch of DOORS@2000
Date: 1st January 2000
Location: Sierra Nevada
William Portus is likely to accompany with launch with a traditional tree
felling. Rock bank "Gathering Moss" is rumoured to attend.

For further news, please knock on the door at:
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