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<nettime> Register > Orlowski > 'Dear Daddy...' Max Zuckerberg's Letter back to her Father

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'Dear Daddy...' Max Zuckerberg's Letter back to her Father

     * What do you mean, I can't get off Facebook? *

2 Dec 2015 at 13:02

As told to Andrew Orlowski

Comment Yesterday Mark Zuckberg accompanied the birth of his
first child, a daughter Max, with a long open letter.

Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, we've found what Max
might write back, and we're sharing it with you:

	Dear Daddy

	Thank you for the letter that your PR and public policy team
	wrote to mark my Birth, and sent to every news outlet in the
	World. Most Daddies wouldn't do this. Heck, most Daddies don't
	even have PR and public policy team, and those that do wouldn't
	use to leverage a private family event!

	That's why you Daddy, are so special.

	You write: "We want you to grow up in a world better than ours

	Well, duh!

	If I discovered that my well-educated billionaire parents wanted
	me to grow up in a world that's worse than ours today, I'd
	already have crawled my way to a phone booth and dialled 911 to
	alert the authorities.

	That goes for "a world without suffering from diseaseā€ too. Wow.
	Where do you get this stuff, Daddy? I heard more original ideas
	when I was a single cell blastula!

	You also write:

	"Technological progress in every field means your life should be
	dramatically better than ours today."

	I'd like to think so too, Daddy, but there's this thing that's
	bothering me.

	It's called Facebook.

	And not just Facebook, it's the way Silicon Valley companies like
	yours pile up huge wealth by destroying value in every other part
	of the economy, as if technological progress were a zero sum
	game. It's the way you strip-mine individuals so they have no
	ability to be autonomous economic agents, owning and trading the
	stuff we make, so all we have to live on is some feudal digital
	plantation - and we have to be grateful for it. It's the way some
	Valley firms place themselves above the law and try to block the
	work of elected officials who want to defend human rights.

	Not you of course, Daddy. Just some of your friends.

	I mean, come on. There's a lot to teach children in this modern
	world I've just been born into. But one thing we've got to learn
	is that just because you can do something, it's not necessarily
	morally acceptable to do it. Who's going to teach me that in
	Silicon Valley?

	And Daddy. Connecting people all over the world through an
	internet website is very cool idea indeed. But it's not that cool
	or original. It's as if the guy who invented the bottle-opener
	wrote a plan to become Emperor of the World. Like, "Remind me who
	you are again?"

	I think that's pretty weird already. And I'm only one day old!

	Well if there's any of the economy left by the time I graduate,
	perhaps my generation will be a bit less selfish than yours,
	Daddy, and we can teach you about it.

	Oh. And there's one more thing.

	You write that:

	"Many of the greatest opportunities for your generation will come
	from giving everyone access to the internet...more than half of
	the world's population -- more than 4 billion people -- don't
	have access to the internet. If our generation connects them, we
	can lift hundreds of millions of people out of poverty. We can
	also help hundreds of millions of children get an education and
	save millions of lives by helping people avoid disease."

	It's way cool that you want to bring Facebook to people who can't
	afford it, Daddy. That's the most unselfish thing I've heard
	anyone say in my very short life so far.

	But there's also 1.6 billion people on the planet who don't have
	access to electricity, while 2.8 billion people rely on smelly
	and noxious biomass for cooking and fuel. How about we get them
	modern electricity grids and cheap reliable energy first? What's
	that Daddy? You think that's a good idea too?


	So why isn't access to electricity a UN Millennium Development
	Goal? Rather than Access to Facebook? It's almost like we like
	the idea of them staying really poor. And seeing how often you
	call that guy you call Barry, who calls himself President,
	perhaps you can help get it on the agenda.

	Well, I'm kinda tired writing all that. It's time for nap. Just
	remember when you're burping me, do it over your shoulder, that
	way I won't puke all down your front.

	Your loving baby daughter,


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