Geert Lovink on Sat, 11 Sep 2010 05:42:26 +0200 (CEST)

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<nettime> for our american friends: wilders explained

Dictionary 9/11: Geert Wilders explained by Peter Wierenga

Yankees, Geert Wilders is coming your way! He will take a break from  
the formation of a new Dutch government and speak out against the  
‘Ground Zero Mosque’ in New York, this Saturday. In order to avoid an  
international scandal, De Pers presents a special Wilders Dictionary.  
What does Geert actually mean, whenever he gets a bit foul-mouthed?
Al Gore-parrot (‘Al Gore-papegaai’):
respectable climate scientist

Geert Wilders is a bit of a climate sceptic and no friend of the  
Democrats. This does NOT mean he is in favour of destroying the earth,  
it means he doesn’t believe in driving slowly (the new coalition will  
raise the maximum speed to 80 miles per hour).

Barbarian (‘barbaar’):

the wise prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him

One of the many nicknames Wilders has in stock for the prophet of  
Allah. It does NOT mean that he does not respect Mohammed, it means  
that he holds different opinions on a wide range of subjects (see  
also: Mass Murderer & Paedophile).

Fitna (‘Fitna’):

melancholic road movie

In 2008 Wilders released an internet movie about the threat the Islam  
poses to the West. The Dutch government tried hard to prevent Fitna  
(Arabic for: tribulation) out of fear for retaliation. There was a  
happy ending: no riots in The Netherlands.

Headscarf tax ( ‘kopvoddentaks’):

economic stimulus bill for The Netherlands

Though some people would explain this as a measure to wipe out all  
headscarves in the Dutch streets, Wilders forgot to calculate the  
expected benefits of this new tax and apparently wasn’t very serious  
about it himself.

Hank and Ingrid (‘Henk en Ingrid’):

the average people who love their Muslim neighbours

Wilders likes to call his fictitious fans Henk and Ingrid, two common  
Dutch names. One and half million men and women voted for his Freedom  
Party at the last elections, some 15 percent of the electorate. They  
are worried about immigration and security, but most of them do not  
support extreme measures like an official ban of the Quran.

Islamofascism (‘islamofascisme’):
the majority of moderate Muslims

Wilders believes Islam is a totalitarian ideology, instead of a  
religion. However, that does NOT stop him from signing a deal with CDA  
and VVD, political parties that do regard Islam as a religion.

Left Church (‘Linkse Kerk’):

Wilders’ dear friends from Dutch television

Wilders dislikes Dutch left leaning media, especially Hilversum-based  
public television – the Left Church - almost as much as he dislikes  
the Islam. He will never appear on their shows, EXCEPT when elections  
are near.

Street terrorist (‘straatterrorist’):

angry young man

Foreign teenagers harassing their neighbourhood are entitled to the  
same label ‘terrorist’ as members of Al Qaeda, Wilders insists. This  
does NOT mean he wants to deport street terrorists to Guantánamo Bay,  
he merely wants the police to shoot them in the knee.

Tearing the Quran (‘de Koran verscheuren’):

new reading technique for holy books

Unlike reverend Terry Jones, Wilders has never made plans to burn  
Qurans. Instead, he advised Muslims in this very newspaper to tear out  
all violent passages. A book the size of a Donald Duck magazine would  

Total freak (‘mafketel’):

head of friendly state, for example president Obama

Though Wilders called Turkish prime minister Erdogan a total freak, he  
does NOT hate all Turks. For his 47th birthday last Monday, he enjoyed  
the famous Turkish baklava, given to him by television show PowNews  
(see also: Left Church.)

Tsunami of islamisation (‘tsunami van islamisering’):

the multicultural melting pot of The Netherlands

Wilders likes to compare the process of immigration with a natural  
disaster and wants to close the border for Muslims.

But he withdrew an earlier statement that millions of Muslims who do  
not want to integrate should be deported out of Europe. Who is inside,  
stays inside. Cosy, or as we say: gezellig!

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