Syndicate: VOWELS TO BOSNIA

[Inke Arns <inke@berlin.snafu.de>]

Hi,

this one just came over the rewired list, from w.d.p.rainer. Best, Inke

w.d.p.rainer writes:

"... a friend currently in Mogadishu sends the following. I hope I have not
sent this before, when I received it from a friend in Bosnia. In any event,
the ending has changed, since then:


>CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA

Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients

Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton
announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of
Bosnia.  The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will
provide the region with the critically needed letters A,E,I,O and U, and is
hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable. "For six years,
we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and Glrm, not to
speak of Hrvtsk and Srpsk,  which have been horribly butchered by millions
around the world," Clinton said.

"Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is
time the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels on their plates and in
their words.  The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavor."

The deployment, dubbed "Operation Vowel Storm" by the State Department, is
set for early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and
Grzny slated to be the first recipients.  Two C-130 transport planes, each
carrying over 500 24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force
Base across the Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities. Citizens
of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels. "I do not
think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnjkln, 44, said.  "I have six
children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me or to
anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor family just one 'E.' Please."
I will cut and paste it myself. And Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67,
said: "With just a few key letters, I could be George Humphries.  This is
my dream." The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a
foreign country since 1984.

During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants to
Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital,
life-giving  supplies of L's, S's and T's.  The consonant-relief effort
failed, however, when vast quantities of the letters were intercepted,
hoarded by violent, gun-toting warlords which held them hostage until 7
million dollars were deposited in a numbered Swiss bank account....

------ end of forwarded message from w.d.p. rainer ---------







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