Florian Cramer on Mon, 18 Mar 2002 18:16:03 +0100 (CET)

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Re: [rohrpost] worldbrain / Netzliteratur

Am Mon, 18.Mar.2002 um 18:14:01 +0100x schrieb Regula Erni:
> Mal schauen?
> http://www.worldbrain.net

Ein neues "Wörterbuch der Allgemeinplätze" hat, vor zwei Jahren, auch
Alan Sondheim erstellt:

  Date: Sat, 29 Apr 2000 17:46:51 -0400 (EDT)
  From: Alan Sondheim <sondheim@panix.com>
  To: nettime-l@bbs.thing.net
  Subject: <nettime> Flaubert, Dictionary of the Usual
  Flaubert, Dictionary of the Uusual
  America - imperialist, runs the Net
  AOL - always for the ignorant
  ASCII Text - forget about it
  Bandwidth - never enough of it
  Computer - has no personality
  Computers - will never be as smart as we are
  Corporate Fascist - what everyone else is
  Crash - not my fault
  Cybercash - never safe
  Cybersex - never as good as the real thing, not real sex
  Darwin - someone who says we descended from the ape
  Deconstruction - thinking about something
  Descartes - cogito, ergo, sum
  E-zine - not real publishing
  Email - too much of it
  English - always rich
  English Language - too much of it
  Gates - too rich
  GUI - graphic user interface, for the visually-oriented
  Gulf-Stream - newly discovered town in Norway
  Guru - knows everything
  Hackers - always everywhere, your account isn't safe
  Hebrew - it's Greek to me
  Humidity - cause of all sickness
  Iliad - always followed by the Odyssey
  Innovation - always dangerous
  Inscription - always cuneiform
  Internet - always dangerous
  Internet Chat - always dangerous
  Internet User - doesn't have a life
  Jouissance - obscene word
  Keyboard - soon to be replaced
  Linux - always free
  Lurker - dangerous, unknown
  Lynx - animal celebrated for its eye
  Mac - never crashes, better than PC
  Macintosh - invented the Macintosh
  Malthus - "the infamous Malthus"
  Man - always a she
  Microsoft - always venomous
  Military - started the Net to spy on us
  MOO - never heard of it
  Moon - inspires sadness, perhaps inhabited?
  MUD - always addictive
  MUDDER - addict
  Music - have to have it
  Net Art - whatever I say it is
  Net Sex - typing with one hand only, not real sex
  Newbie - doesn't know anything
  Newsgroups - full of spam
  Oasis - desert hotel
  Offline - hopelessly out of touch
  Oldtimer - online for four years or more
  Oracle - impossible to program
  Paris - prostituted, paradise for women, hell for horses
  PC - better than Mac
  Penguin - see Linux
  Phaeton - invented the Phaeton vehicle
  Pornography - time-waster, killing our children
  Privacy - there isn't any
  Programming - too difficult
  Robots - are going to take over the world
  Salutations - always impressive
  Sartre - existence precedes essence
  Screen - hurts my eyes, can't read on it
  Security - there isn't any
  Serpent - always venomous
  Shell Account - can't do anything on it, for the textually-oriented
  Society - its enemies
  Software - always bloated
  Sun - too expensive
  Them - not us
  Traveler - always intrepid
  Unix - too complicated
  Us - not them
  Windows - always crashes
  Woman - always a he
  World Wide Web - too crowded

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