Presidential Explosions Committed on Fri, 7 May 1999 08:05:29 +0200 (CEST)

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<nettime> Re: Texas HB1199

Dear Exuberant Friend Ronald,

You write:
>Gov. Bush:
>	Please do not support HB 1199. Your father lost re-election because 
>he lost support of the gun owners. Don't make the same mistake!
>	Sincerely,
>		Ronald R. Clothier

We at GWBUSH.COM just want to say--THANK YOU. And more importantly 
for this issue--THANK GOD we aren't ruled by those crazy, no-holds-
barred, all-ideas-okay Europeans. You know--the ones who change 
constitutions every two years!

That one thing still in the same good old U.S.A. Constitution, that 
line about "bearing arms," the one that's been interpreted to mean 
we can all carry around guns and maybe shoot them sometimes--well, 
that there line has a lot to do with Europe: if we all bear arms, 
no crazy British or Swedes or whatever will be able to do squat to 
us. We'll be tough and throw tea in the harbor or whatever's 
American. We'll fight back! We'll take our fight to the harbors and 
theaters and streets and schools... oh, er, not the schools....

We here at GWBUSH.COM THANK GOD every day we aren't ruled by any 
creepy Europeans: they certainly wouldn't let us have our God-
given, Constitution-based RIGHT to bear arms.

All they can see is the figures, the numbers, the graphs. Hey, it 
doesn't take a Pompidou to see that our vastly higher murder (and 
school-massacre) rate is clearly the result of guns being so easily 
bought here (87% of even 13-17-year-olds know this, according to 
the current Time Magazine--not that it matters, but it's funny).  
Sure, it's obvious this is the reason, because the only alternative 
is that British people or Swedes or what have you are actually 
(stifled laugh) SANER THAN TEXANS.

But that's not what's important. Sanity is for the psychiatrists, 
and numbers are for the scientists and homosexuals. What's 
important is that line in the Constitution, what's important is 
BEARING ARMS. You and the NRA are DARN RIGHT about HB 1199! HB 1199 
would make it harder to sell super-illegal guns at gun fairs, where 
big sane Texans stomp around looking at guns and maybe even 
shooting them a bit. Selling super-illegal guns is already super-
illegal! What's wrong? Why add another law, another brick in the 
God-forsaken Einstein-influenced reason-based wall keeping the 
Constitution's light out of our playground?

As you say, George Bush Sr. lost re-election because he lost 
support of the gun owners! Yes indeed! You said it! America is God-
and-gun-ruled, God-owned and gun-owning, just pure God and gun 
through and through. We will not make the mistake of speaking out 
against guns!

Another thing to thank God for--free speech! And money! And money 
as speech! The NRA knows the Constitution, as well as the various 
emendings of that Constitution, that give the NRA, and anyone else, 
the right to spend as much money as they want on lobbying efforts. 
So the NRA lobbies and the NRA gets, and the NRA is OK. It has to 
lobby--WE can't, all we can do is send e-mail and get automatic 
responses, so SOMEONE'S got to take those senators out to lunch! 
The NRA is "our man." Hell, the NRA's even better than tobacco and 
automobiles COMBINED!

You got it!

Your solemn under-God, under-fire pals,
Roy and Liz

Presidential Explosions Committed: Your efforts redeemed

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