agit-prop on Sat, 27 Mar 1999 18:58:34 +0100 (CET)

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<nettime> Let Justice Be Served! --BBB Domestic Pie Actions

To civil society,

The past few weeks have brought a flurry of pies-in-flight here on the
home front. From California to New Hampshire, and amidst our
nation-state's heartland prairies, freedom-loving peoples have reached the
conclusion that pie is justice. . . no matter how you slice it. May their
efforts encrust those who would shun the fruits of truthfulness.

The long-awaited Cherry Pie 3 solidarity call to action will go out this

TGIP (Thank God It's Pieday), Agent Apple for the Biotic Baking Brigade

1) Gay Nuns "Cream" Homophobic Reverend

2) Minnesota Governor Gets Dessert Upside the Head

3) BBB 'Entartes' Mad Scientist in New England

4) Corporate-Friendly Enviro Pied at Conference

5) Caveat Pie: Creamophobia in San Francisco

6) Animal Abuser Exec Receives A Tart Treat

Gay Nuns "Cream" Homophobic Reverend;
Solidarity Action with the "Cherry Pie 3" and "Agent Creamy Genes"

For Immediate Release: March 26, 1999

San Francisco-An offshoot of the controversial direct action organization
ACT UP--San Francisco pied suppporters of homophobic Reverend Fred Phelps
this evening. Dessert was served to protest the recent violent murders of
gay men across the nation by a duo known as the Pieing Nuns. Phelps and
his clan held a rally tonight, complete with neon signs such as "AIDS
Kills Fags," to protest Mayor Willie Brown's officiating of a mass
domestic partners ceremony at City Hall.

In defiance of a recent six month jail sentence for the Biotic Baking
Brigade (BBB) members who pied Mayor Brown, two activists dressed in nun's
habits tossed four vegan and organic banana tofu pies into the
hate-twisted faces of Phelps's entourage as part of "Operation: Second
Phelping." Citing the heinous attacks on queers nationwide and the
repression of political-pie-protest in San Francisco, Sister--Agents
Thelma and Louise demanded that community members respond with anger and
power to this very real and immediate threat.

No stranger to San Francisco, in 1994 Phelps attempted to picket the
funeral of Randy Shilts, but was met by hundreds of angry and vocal
demonstrators who, within seconds of his arrival, forced Phelps and his
family to flee back to Topeka, Kansas. Recently Phelps, who travels to
these "demonstrations" with his children and grandchildren, picketed the
funeral of Matthew Shepard. Shepard was tied to a fence post, beaten, and
left to die in Wyoming last year. Last summer, having picketed
Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) in the Castro, Phelps was valiantly
met with paint balls from a concerned citizen.

"Queers have been tossing pies since Anita Bryant's homophobic attacks on
gays and lesbians in the late 1970's. The venom spewed forth by Phelps and
his ilk is no different," stated pieing nun Sister Thelma. "From the
vicious stabbing of Robert Hillsborough in the Mission district twenty
years ago to last week's slaying of Henry Northington, whose decapitated
head was found impaled on a Virginia bridge, the hatred remains. We must
confront these religious hypocrites and let them know we will no longer be
their victims. It is imperative that the gay community unite to protect
our safety and well being."

The dynamic duo stated that they pied Phelps in solidarity with two
groups: first, the "Cherry Pie 3" pie-litical prisoners. Among the three
protesters attacking Willie Brown's continued scapegoating of San
Francisco's homeless was ACT UP--San Francisco member Gerard Livernois.
Rife with graft and greed, Willie Brown and his administration are
determined to suppress criticism about their corruption and lack of
accountability. In a vindictive and politically-motivated trial that
garnered international headlines, both Mayor Brown and Judge Goldsmith
denounced pie tossing as a form of protest, announcing their grim
determination to crack down on direct action in San Francisco.

"Does Willie think by putting our comrades in jail that he will deter us
from ACTing UP? Not while evil bigots like Fred Phelps are welcome in San
Francisco," exclaimed Sister Louise. "I will not be some queer basher's
next victim. A gay marriage will not halt the knives and fists of the
Christian Right that threaten our very lives. It is up to queers to
empower ourselves, fight oppression and take control of our destiny."

Secondly, this operation goes out to the BBB--Noreastah Irregulars, who
gave University of Wisconsin geneticist Neil First a delicious gift of
three pies in the kisser last week in New Hampshire. David Pike, AKA Agent
Creamy Genes, has since been arrested and charged with simple assault and
felony conspiracy to commit criminal mischief. On the charge of simple
assault, Dave faces up to one year, and on the charge of conspiracy, a
maximum of 3 to 7 years in jail. What has become of the State that proudly
carries the motto and old Revolutionary War slogan of "live free or

The Pieing Nuns are critical of the gay mainstream's fight for gays in the
military and domestic partners legislation which refuses to aggressively
challenge the climate of gay violence heating up around the country.
Further more, these smoke screen solutions do nothing to address critical
issues for rural gay communities such as legislation that ensures fair
housing, equal employment and adequate health care. Denouncing "gay
Marriage" as a sell-out agenda by straight society to conform queers to a
heterosexual norm, Sisters Thelma and Louise called such platitudes
ineffectual, creating the illusion of progression while the validation of
hate motivated attacks against gays and lesbians increases.

Gov. Jesse Gets Coconut Cream Upside the Head

[Editor's note: we received the following via encrypted email. No more
details at this time]
March 25, 1999

Minnesota Governer Jesse "The Body" Ventura recieved a coconut cream pie
reception prior to delivering a speech tonight at a Wittier Neighboorhood
meeting in Minneapolis.  The pie hit Ventura's body gaurd in the back of
the head and splattered the Governer as he was about to take to the
podium.  The pie thrower, agent coconut cream, reportley threw the pie to
protest budget cuts to the arts.  No one knows for sure but pie is a
perfect adonment for his perfectly shaved head.

Minnesota in Solidarity with the San Francisco Three
Pie On Dudes!

Subject: BBB - Northeast Cell Pies Cloning Researcher

For Release March 5, 1999

Communiqué of the Biotic Baking Brigade-Nor'eastah Irregulars (BBB-NI)

Dr. Neal First, geneticist and animal cloner from the University of
Wisconsin, was given his just desserts last night after a lecture at the
University of New Hampshire. First had just finished presenting the latest
on his "science" and was receiving applause when Agent "Rusty" of the
EBB-NI flung a red-tinged cream pie straight from the lecture hall doorway
into Dr. First's placid face. Agent "Rusty" warned all present, "Don't
Fuck with Mother Nature!"

Just moments later, the "good" doctor was served a second helping of
humble pie by EBB-NI Agents Creamy Genes and Lemon soufflé who reminded
the audience of 100+ that "Cloning is no clowning matter" and to "Respect
all life - Stop torturing animals!"

According to Dr. First, he and his cohorts have been attempting to follow
up the successful cloning of a sheep in Scotland with cows, pigs, monkeys,
etc. and have even tried combinations of animals. Alas, no new creatures
have been created as of yet, according to First. He did, however, proclaim
the success of genetically engineered trees for replanting the
chainsaw-ravaged forests of the Pacific Northwest. Lastly, when asked
about the further future possibilities, First admitted that "clones would
probably not take over the planet."



Communiqué of the Biotic Baking Brigade-Nor'eastah Irregulars (BBB-NI).

	BBB-NI Agent Creamy Genes was taken into custody today by North
Hampton, NH police for suspected crimes against science.  "This is all
half-baked," declared the pie man.  "Pies are no crime.  The crime is
	Police are charging Agent Creamy Genes with assault with a cream
pie, conspiracy to create creative mischief, and for damaging the ego of
an important person, namely geneticist and animal cloner Neil First.  The
charges stem from a messy incident last Thursday at the University of New
Hampshire, when First was served his just desserts in the form of two
cream pies to the face.  The good doctor had just presented his efforts to
clone cows pigs, monkeys, etc.  Following the discussion regarding the
cloning of a sheep in Scotland, three agents of the delicious Biotic
Baking Brigade presented their pies and dissenting opinions.
	Police are continuing to search for BBB-NI Agents Rusty and Lemon
Soufflé who are rumored to be among New England's pie-baking underground.
Speaking from an unknown kitchen, Agent Lemon Soufflé warned, "We are very
concerned for the baking world now that they have isolated the Creamy
Gene. What will happen to whipped cream?  What of sauces and bread spreads
and dessert toppings?  We must free Creamy Genes and all genetic material
from the jail cells and test tubes of sourpuss scientists and their
donut-eating henchmen!"

Statement on the Pieing of Dr. Neil First. Geneticist and Animal Cloner
by David Pike, AKA Agent Creamy Genes, Biotic Baking Brigade

	I smooshed a whipped cream pie into the face of geneticist Neil
First in order to humble a man arrogant enough to create living creatures
from cold science.  Dr. First is the top-level scientist involved in
animal cloning and the general field of genetic engineering.
	At the present time this field included such "wonders" as potatoes
and corn which internally produce pesticides, thereby forcing us to
consume the pesticide with the vegetable. Genetically-engineered soybeans
are resistant to herbicides, thereby increasing the use of poisonous
chemicals on this food. An amazing breakthrough dubbed "terminator
technology" creates plants of any type whose seeds all turn out sterile,
thereby stopping any future generations and insuring profits for the seed
companies.  Many genetically altered plants are already in production in
this country and one estimate puts the chance of processed food products
to contain genetically altered ingredients at 30%.
	In the area of animal research, attempts are being made to
engineer pigs with human genes to make their meat more tender, mice are
being created with all sorts of variations for laboratory testing, and
some scientists want to grow human organs for transplanting.
	I believe these efforts violate the basis of life on this planet:
the DNA of organisms.  Slicing and splicing the genetic code of life is
inexcusable and to then patent and profit from this is criminal.
	I see the geneticists of today as parallel with the Nazi doctors
of the Third Reich.  To them, the human race is the master race and the
rest of life is disposable.  Plants may be mutated and animals mutilated
for any whim of human "need" or greed.  Unwanted species may even be
genetically eradicated or replaced with an "improved" version in the
newest eugenics.
	Faced with these nightmares, I used humorous mischief to bring
people's attention to the subject.  Genetic engineering is spreading
rapidly with barely any public education or consideration of it.  Because
I "assaulted" this madness and the ego of one of its perpetrators, I am
identified as a resistant strain with several police departments
dispatched to isolate me from society.  The cream -pie-in-the-face
slapstick routine has been used many times in the past by politically
motivated clowns on arrogant authority figures.  The Yippies did it during
the Vietnam War. And who doesn't remember the great pie fights in the old
black and white movies.  The cream pie must be de-criminalized.  Humor
must replace fear. Genetic engineering and cloning must stop.



     As you may already know, Dave Pike, aka Agent Creamy Genes, of the
Biotic Baking Brigade Nor'eastah Irregulars (BBB-NI) has been arrested and
charged with simple assault and felony conspiracy to commit criminal
mischief for the pieing of geneticist Neil First.  On the charge of simple
assault, Dave faces up to one year, and on the charge of conspiracy, a
maximum of 3 to 7 years in jail.  He is in need of funds to mount a
defense against these charges.  Dave has consistently been there for many
of us, and the Earth, now we need to be there for him.  Checks can be made
out to David Pike.  Please send letters of support and money to:

New Hampshire Earth First! PO Box 4101 Portsmouth, NH 03802

Thank you!!!

>From the Les Entartistes of Montreal, sent to the BBB on March 24

Just wanted you to know that we pied Roger D. Landry on sunday night,
which is the president of La Presse, one of the big corporate newspaper
here (owned by Power Corporation), a paper that (amongst things) talked
about the Cherry Pie 3 imprisonment because they try to put us in jail
here too, and make us look like criminals, but, we've been lucky so far,
so, it's one more down! The man in question even said afterwards in all
the news that we gave him a humility lesson and that he took it that way
and not as a criminal offense.

"The Pie-ing of Charlie Raines"

At the LAW conference in Eugene, Oregon, on March 5, another pie-throwing
incident occurred.  Charlie Raines, staff member of the Sierra Club
Cascade Chapter's "Checkerboard Project," received a banana cream pie
facial delivery while he participated in a panel on land exchanges.

Charlie is known to many as the facilitator of some awful land exchanges
that gave federally-owned old-growth forest to the timber industry.  Some
of his misdeeds were chronicled last September by the Seattle Times in an
investigative journalism series titled "Trading Away the West."  Since
then, he helped position the Sierra Club in support of a bad rider on the
Omnibus Appropriations Bill that traded thousands of acres between Plum
Creek Timber Company and the Forest Service, despite the fact that proper
NEPA compliance was not done and the public had no way of knowing to what
extent this was a sweetheart deal for the industry, or how badly the
public got screwed.

You can look up the Seattle Times series on their website

Check out Charlie's website at:

Here's a copy of the text of the flier that was posted around the Law
School following the pie incident:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Pie-ing of Charlie Raines

As you may know, Mr. Raines made facial contact with a banana cream pie at
the ELAW conference on Friday.  This pie-ing occurred because of his
compromising stance on two major land exchanges in Washington State, the
I-90 exchange with Plum Creek Timber Company and the Huckleberry Exchange
with Weyerhauser [sic].  Mr. Raines supported these exchanges in spite of
the fact that both included massive amounts of old growth forest.  We feel
that he should not be in the position to broker deals between the Forest
Service and private timber companies.

Stumps for mature old growth? huh?

While we know that Mr. Raines has done good work in the past, these
actions have undermined everybody's work in the movement.

"Any random act of silliness is much less harmful than any act of

--with love, Agent 'Nanner and Friends--Mad Anarchist Baking League

[Editor's note: a different group sharing the same name can be visited at:
com%2fCapitolHill%2fSenate%2f4635%2f ]

Leah Garchik's Personals Column
San Francisco Chronicle, March 16, 1999


Sunday was the Exploratorium's annual Pi Day*, in keeping with which
someone left a message on a friend's answering machine that said something
like, ``Pi Day's today. Meet you at the Exploratorium.'' The message,
however, was left on a wrong number; its recipient, thinking the caller
was a member of the Biotic Baking Brigade, called the police.

Officers rushed to the scene of a Buddhist event at the Palace of Fine
Arts, which shares the site with the Exploratorium, looking for a VIP who
might be a likely target. When one cop stopped next door, saw the Pi Day
signs and 1,600 slices ready to be served, the mystery was solved and the
case closed.

(* the Exploratorium is a children's science museum)

Pepper Pelted with Pies--Feb. 18, 1999

Chicago, Ill. -- Procter & Gamble bigwig John Pepper-in town this evening
to give the keynote address at the Kellogg Marketing Conference at
Northwestern University-got two tofu cream pies in the face in protest of
P&G's use of animals in cruel product testing.

Despite a decade of promises, each year P&G still kills thousands of
monkeys and other animals in laboratories, where workers drip chemicals
into the animals' eyes, force them to inhale and swallow massive doses of
compounds, and rub irritating substances onto their shaved and abraded
skin. Animals are often clamped into restraining devices so that they
can't escape, and some animals break their necks trying to get away.

According to industry toxicologists, animal tests that were done in the
1920s and 30s cannot be accurately applied to human experience because of
the enormous physiological differences. More than 550 companies, including
large corporations like Gillette and Avon, ensure their customers' safety
by using odern, accurate, non-animal tests, but Procter & Gamble refuses
to switch- even for cosmetics and household products, which make up the
majority of Procter & Gamble's products and are not required by law to be
tested on animals.

This is not the first time John Pepper has been pied by PETA. Animal
rights activists first creamed him last year in Columbus, Ohio. Others who
have been pied for animal exploitation include Kenny Rogers (3 times),
Ronald McDonald (5 times), and the Tyson chicken mogul. PETA then expanded
into fur, and hit Karl Lagerfeld (twice) and Oscar de la Renta.

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