integer on Mon, 25 Feb 2002 07:36:01 +0100 (CET)

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Beatrice Beaubien <>

>>> kisses for you ( first )
>> where there is already a hole one must not drill another one.
>The sisters at the borderline
>They're holding out their hands
>They're begging me for something Lord
>But I don't understand
>I don't understand
>Listen to your heart that beats
>And follow it with both your feet
>And as you walk and as you breathe ...

I am suffocating today       
love suffocates       
I think it is the
felt though still unspoken refusal of gifts not yet but wishing to be
sends those wished gifts back upon the offerer     
down the
throat and into the lungs         
impossible to breathe
doesnt' help am reading sad lovely book             
have you heard of
Anne Carson?      
just finished Men in the Off Hours      

and now      

The Beauty of the Husband     
a fictional essay
in 29 tangos            
a piece I like p. 80:

"And at that moment
she began to be his downfall, if memory serves,
since he was already calm.
Better to be his downfall than not to be she thinks.
It snows that night.
She paints a red circle on each nipple
and they go out to dance in long dark rooms
for what is more true

than a snowy night, down it comes
sifting over branches and railings and the secret air itself,
down the steep, down the stops, down the deepening, down the grooves in
the nails.
They fall asleep and dream
of muffled corridors,
greenish glow
along the edges of mirrors, faces, cities.
Snow spins over it, down over it all."

a lovely thought I might rest on         
am so very

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