Alice Foley on 30 Nov 2000 21:44:30 -0000

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[Nettime-bold] Happy news

Dear Delegates,

We are pleased--and disturbed--to relate a strange new development,
one which luckily does not sport the dark hues of the last. 

But first of all, we would like to thank all those who took the
trouble to write us regarding possible clues to Dr. Bichlbauer's
untimely demise. Fortunately, these clues have proved unnecessary, for
it turns out that while our friend has indeed passed on, it has been a
passage from the realm of WTO representation into that of the most
utterly fraudulent fiction!

Those who found Dr. Bichlbauer's talk "peculiar," "puzzling," and so
on were alert to a situation that has only now become clear to our
overcentralized eyes: Dr. Bichlbauer was an impostor! He was only by
conniving and self-falsification a WTO employee, and there was never a
pieing, even less an infection and death. He, his "security guard,"
and his "cameraman"--who was indeed also the "reporter," as some
suspected all along--belong, it turns out, to an anti-trade cabal
called "The Yes Men," whose interests run exactly counter to our own,
and who will stoop to any level whatsoever to make points.

(The point they were attempting to make with this trickery, according
to the handwritten letter which we received by this morning's post,
had something to do with "corporate power" and "democracy," though the
syntax and handwriting of the letter are, truth be told, too execrable
to make much of. ((We will be happy to provide a copy of the letter if
anyone wishes to see it.)) But if their point had indeed to do with
such issues, they clearly failed to make it, since all the questions
we asked you regarding "voter fraud"--questions we were prompted to
ask by an equally fraudulent "investigator"--met nothing from you but
confusion, dismissal, and an inability to recall. ((To add insult to
injury, we suspect the "infection" and "death" were arranged precisely
so that the "investigator" could prompt us to ask these same
questions, whose wombs have proven so barren. So much for points made
by death! So much for corporate power!)) )

It is of course extremely embarrassing to us that we can have been
conned, like common dowagers, in this way. But in our defense it must
be said that while, in our brief acquaintance with him, Dr.
Bichlbauer's explanations of WTO principles were often elaborated in a
way we found somewhat tasteless, they never did amble beyond the
confines of WTO orthodoxy; there was a thoroughness to his adherence
that made it impossible to fault him, and which allowed him to become
our full representative with little to-do.

We hope the inconvenience caused you by our lack of vigilance is
offset by the value of new knowledge, however bizarre, and we
apologize for any emotional turmoil you may have undergone as a result
of this experience, especially in its (fortunately not tragic after
all) denouement.

The memorial service, to have taken place at 4 p.m. this Sunday at St.
Ruprecht in Vienna, is of course cancelled.

With very best wishes,
Alice Foley

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