Dan Mitchell on 11 Oct 2000 03:53:16 -0000

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[Nettime-bold] Re: <nettime> BBB Special Request For Input...Plus MoreActions and Updates

Heroes? Uh-uh. Criminals? No way!

Banal? Yep. Insipid? You betcha!

At 09:23 PM 10/10/00 +0200, Biotic Baking Brigade wrote:
>Greetings again from Amsterdam!
>Though these E-postcards aren't as good as getting real ones through the
>post, I hope they aren't lacking in fruitful information or charm.
>The first part of this BBB posting, what you are now reading, is a special
>communication. I will send it to the 500+ subscribers on this list,
>addresses that I've collected, purged and maintained since the autumn of
>1998, but will not send it to the media or various listserves/newsgroups.
>The purpose of this section is a check-in on where people are at with this
>list and where it should go. I never invisioned there to be a BBB list at
>first. But the pies started flying, both in the U.S. and abroad, and due to
>the pervasive influence of the internet people discovered us and started
>writing in from all over to "sign up." I've found that sometimes really good
>things begin that way, not with a grand long range plan decided by the
>central committee, but by loose-knit groups of people coming together to
>create something that takes on a life of its own.
>It's the two year anniversary of the Milton Friedman pie incident, which
>followed the epic Bill Gates episode by six months. Since the global pastry
>uprising kicked off in those heady months, dozens upon dozens of nefarious
>characters have received their just desserts served up by the people and
>their various movements. BBB agents have met and/or corresponded with
>amazing folks from all inhabited regions of the world, fought long-term
>battles in courtrooms, and done our best to communicate our issues through
>the alternative and mass media without becoming recuperated and/or
>Don't worry, I will not wax nostalgically on and on for pages, nor am I
>stoned in one of this city's notorious cafes. Rather, I'm attempting to lay
>the groundwork leading to a strategical and logistical question which has
>been intriguing me for months:
>What kind of information do people want to receive through this list, and
>how much, how often?
>Because I try my best to avoid the mass media in all its shapes and forms, I
>rely heavily on news gleaned through email via listserves as well as friends
>and comrades. Consequently, I get some really interesting reading material
>about resistance movements and actions from around the world. I'm often
>tempted to send some of it out to this list, but have been quite stringent
>with myself in making sure that almost everything in our posts relates
>directly to pie-throwing. So, I must ask:
>1) Do people want to read about actions and movements which the BBB
>support.....or should the list remain pretty straightforward in its focus on
>pies and the reasons behind the individuals/groups taking Pie-rect Action?
>In addition, to people want to just read action reports, or what about pie
>poems, action anecdotes, songlyrics, history, humour as political activism
>and burlesque terrorism, etc.?
>2) What do people think about the frequency and length of the BBB posts?
>3) Do people have critiques/comments/input on the state of the radical
>pastry movement and its future? As can be seen below, folks are adding new
>tools to the toolbox with the addition of chocalate milk and salmon souffle
>as cuilinary weapons-de-guerre.
>4) Critiques/comments/input on our BBB website....  http://www.asis.com/~bbb
>Thanks in advance for responding, it will be great to hear more about what
>people are thinking. Usually the comments we receive our limited to "Great
>job blah blah blah" on the one side  or "You people are outrageous criminals
>blah blah blah" on the other, lacking specifics in either case.
>I've begun searching for a publisher to publish a book on the history,
>theory, and dialectics of pie-throwing. It would include recipies of course.
>A previous publisher appears to have fallen through on its commitment to
>print it. If anyone can help with this delicious project, please contact us.
>Lastly, I will close this section with an appeal. While our labor in this
>situationist struggle with the global titans is strictly volunteer, we do
>incur expenses for our website/email account, satellite communications from
>our underground headquarters in the heart of the Headwaters forest, travel
>costs, postage, disguise accessories, cloak-and-dagger spy gadgets, and of
>course, baking ingredients. If you can spare it, please send some financial
>support to the snail mail address at the end. Checks/money orders can be
>made out to "Friends of the BBB." However, the best way to support the BBB
>is to take Pie-rect Action!
>Let's do all that we can, while we still can, to bring about a society based
>on mutual aid, voluntary cooperation, bio/cultural diversity, and the
>liberation of desire.
>Pie in the sky is not always a lie,
>Agent Apple for the BBB
>There is this incredible squat in Amsterdam called Kalenderpanden, an
>enormous old warehouse alongside a picturesque canal. A brilliant crew of
>folks have been using it for years to host events, dinners, theater,
>concerts, and meetings. Predictably enough, developers are using the city
>government to destroy the place in favor of yuppie apartments and to create
>a "breeding ground" (their term) for high-paid artists! Just like San
>Francisco and many other places in Amerika. It's really sad to be here and
>see the desperation among the squatters as Holland seems to be following
>Germany's lead in crushing the movement. Yet the squatters fighting back
>with a creative resistance of the heart against business as usual, and have
>a lot of support among the Dutch population and even certain sectors of
>government. The following caps a series of fantastic actions:
>Sunday, October 8, Amsterdam City Councillor Pauline Krikke was hit smack
>in the face twice by cream pies from the 'Bakers without Borders
>Amsterdam division'. Krikke had just opened the new shopping district
>Nieuwe Dijk and was accompanied by a bunch of hot shots, amongst them
>the chiefs of police who started to pursuit the pie-throwers. With the
>help of a policeman on a motorcycle, who let his bike fall down in the
>pursuit, two arrests were made. The arrested were let free the next day.
>Councillor Krikke is responsible for the comming eviction of a huge and
>popular squat in Amsterdam, called De Kalenderpanden (see:
>www.kalenderpanden.nl for a photo of the sad councillor whiping
>cream off her face). The Kalenderpanden will be evicted for a
>development agency to build luxurious appartments for yuppies.
>More to come.... Patissiers Sans Borderes
>PS: Iım sure Councillor Krikke would love to receive comments on her
>neoliberal policies. She can be reached at <p.krikke@amsterdam.nl>
>Time for change of clothes, government: Day
>WebPosted Fri Oct 6 08:24:24 2000
>KITCHENER, ONT. - A protester threw chocolate milk at the leader of the
>Canadian Alliance Thursday night, just as Stockwell Day was outlining his
>party's platform for the next election.
>[ IMAGE: Day has chocolate milk thrown on him]
>A startled Day quickly began cracking jokes about the attack, as security
>staff escorted a suspect away.
>Day then left the stage for a few minutes, returning with a new shirt, tie,
>and a few more wisecracks before returning to his speech.
>"Boy if there's any time I needed a wet suit," he said, referring to a
>recent interview with reporters in B.C. that critics complained was more
>about image than substance. After winning a byelection last month, Day
>roared up to a news conference in a water craft and skin-tight outfit.
>Some political observers called Thursday's assault disturbing, especially
>in light of what happened to Jean Chretien in Prince Edward Island this
>summer. In August, a protester shoved a pie in the prime minister's face,
>raising concern about the safety of political leaders in public.
>Anti-Environmental U.S. Senator "Salmon Souffled"
>Helen Chenowith was faced with a salmon
>whip cream pie during her opening statements at a
>congressional field hearing on forest health( or the
>destruction there of). A press release claiming
>responsibility and explaining the apropriatness of the
>target was sent out by A group calling themselves the
>"salmon souffle society". Randall Mark was arrested on
>state felony assault charges ,when bail was reduced to
>an affordable level the feds put a detainer on him for
>a federal probation violation out of moscow Idaho, now
>Missoula feds have charged him with 2 counts of
>assualt on a federal employee and are detaining him
>till trial ,the date is set for november 13 . Another
>congressmen Rick hill was seated next to Helen so that
>is why there are 2 charges . A legal defense fund has
>been setup and checks can be made out to the Randall
>Mark Legal defense fund and cash can be sent to
>                        Randall Mark L.D.F
>                        P.O box 8452
>                        Moscow,Idaho 83843
>We have managed to raise enough money for a retainer
>fee for his laywer but still need 1000 dollars more to
>provide adequate defense. Randy is being seriously
>screwed around with by multiple jurisdictions and the
>charges filed against him are a clear example of
>vindictive state/federal repression of political
>action.Congress woman Chenowith was quoted in the news
>after the pieing stating "Were not going to let this
>one go". The reality is we are in Idaho and Montana
>Where this kind of pie dont fly and unless we can
>provide randy with a good attorney he is going to
>remain locked up for a really long time .
>                          in defense of insurgents,
>                                molly
>     For more info : Randall mark L.D.F 208 892 8744 or
>you can email sketcherd@Yahoo.com.
>Chretien Pie Update (and Appeal for Legal Donations)
>It's been a few weeks since Chretien was pied, and the dust has begun to
>settle. Many thanks to everyone who has offered moral, verbal, financial,
>  or other varieties of support, but things have really only just begun.
>Some Details:
>On August 16, Evan Brown was arrested and charged with "Assault" for pieing
>Jean Chretien over genetically engineered food and the government's other
>Over the next few days, Aaron Koleszar spoke with local, national, and
>media, as Evan's lawyer had advised Evan not to. Coverage was widespread,
>  and usually touched on why it was done, yet there was generally a lack
>of depth in the coverage of "why". Most media seemed more concerned about
>"Chretien's security" (thanks in part to Chretien's speedy PR team -
>I believe it is) and paid little heed to the security of the other residents
>of Canada and this planet. Most PEI media complained that this was an
>  childish, immature, etc. Despite the mass media slant (surpies), the
>was communicated far and wide. Besides, this picture speaks louder than
>a million words.
>PEI is a place where it is strongly frowned upon to step outside of accepted
>boundaries, and there are always repercussions if you do step outside those
>boundaries, especially when dealing with politics. The morning after
>was pied, Evan Brown was scheduled to go for a job interview at the Inn
>on the Hill.  He was quite qualified for the position, but before the
>he was called and told not to bother coming for the interview. A play Evan
>was in was also cancelled. The fella who runs the Kings playhouse is a good
>Liberal. These are but two of the repercussions.
>The RCMP has been questioning/harrassing many people suspected of being
>involved and also relatives, friends, neighbors, and employers of people
>suspected of being involved. We have some questions about jurisdiction and
>who is doing the investigation. The RCMP seems to be giving different people
>different stories.
>On August 31, the Charlottetown City Police informed Aaron Koleszar, a
>and spokesperson of the PEI Pie Brigade, that there is a possibility that
>charges will be laid against him as well.
>At Evan's August 31 plea hearing, the judge allowed a 2-week postponement,
>  due to insufficient disclosure by the crown. The crown did not disclose
>any of the evidence gathered by RCMP questioning. So Evan's plea hearing
>was rescheduled for September 14. Then a trial date will be set, likely
>within a month or two, and Chretien could be required to appear. There are
>a number of good legal arguments and precedents for us to use in court,
>and our lawyer is working on an interesting strategy.
>If anyone happened to record TV or radio coverage, let us know. We'd be
>very interested in getting a copy.
>The PEI Pie Brigade also requests your assistance to help cover the mounting
>legal costs related to the pieing of Jean Chretien. If you can donate a
>little or a lot, that would be a big help. If you can't, we understand.
>Toward a better future,
>The PEI Pie Brigade
>Make cheques payable to MacLeod, Crane, and Parkman (In trust re: pie) and
>send to:
>Attention: James Hornby
>MacLeod, Crane, and Parkman
>PO Box 1056
>Charlottetown, PEI
>C1A 7M4
>To reach the PEI Pie Brigade, contact:    peipiebrigade@hushmail.com
>To reach Jim Hornby (lawyer) call:  902-892-3544
>For Chretien Pie related info, visit:
>Les Entartistes Website:      http://www.entartistes.ca
>The Biotic Baking Brigade Website:    http://www.asis.com/~bbb/
>"The History of the Biotic Baking Brigade"
>--Compieled by BBB Agents Apple and Shoo-fly
>[From the forthcoming Earth First! Journal 20th Anniversary Special Edition.
>Contact the EF! Journal via <earthfirst@igc.org> for more subscription and
>order information]
>Little is known about the true origins of the Biotic Baking Brigade (BBB).
>Some say it grew out of the Whiskey Rebellion in the late 1700s in
>Pennsylvania; others say it began in a feud between two bakeries in Paris
>during the mid-1800s. However, after much painstaking research, our agents
>have uncovered the first known account of the pastry uprising.
>Set in Habsburg Dynasty Spain in the early 1600s. Philip IV, who succeeded
>to the throne 1621, preferred culture to politics, and allowed Gaspar de
>Guzm·n conde de Olivares to run the government. Olivares' efforts to
>increase taxation and conscription led to revolt in 1640, first in
>Catalonia and then in Portugal.
>A small group of bakers were fed up with Olivares, and formed an
>underground resistance group called La Brigada Biotic de la Hornada. They
>plotted an attack on Olivares, and in a show of solidarity with Portugal
>and Catalonia, they made their move late one evening when he was
>entertaining the Prince of Austria, another member of the Habsburg Dynasty.
>The bakers posed as royal chefs, and just as dinner was being served they
>delivered him his just desserts. The agent yelled "°DÈ Portugal de nuevo a
>la gente!" (Give Portugal back to the people!) as she hurled the pie
>directly into Olivares' face.
>Since this action, numerous pies have been tossed in many deserving faces,
>all around the world. What follows below is an account of the BBB's origins
>within Earth First!.
>The story begins with a mud-slinging contest in the hallowed pages of the
>EF! Journal after a few folks said they would have pied Ed Abbey had the
>chance arizen:
>Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... May 1, 1989
>Dear Comrades,
>Amidst the mourning and merry-waking [sic], we make this warning: The
>Biotic Baking Brigade of °Mirth First! first formed with the intention,
>among others, of delivering a lovely refried-bean pie unto the venerated
>visage of the late lamented author [Ed Abbey]. However, he has since
>slipped our slapstick and is beyond the range of even more accurate
>pie-flingers than the Relentless Fanatic. Heaven and Hell alike may turn
>him back at the border but the Earth will digest him as it does all. The
>frijole torte remains. It waits for the face of bigotry and fascism to show
>itself again, or for the crassest eulogist to the "anarchist" who loved
>borders. Nopale Ed knows no limits now. Neither do we.
>-Simon "Chico" Zapotes and BBB, °Mirth First!
>Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... June 21, 1989
>Dear Cranial Feces,
>To paraphrase Merle Haggard, "If you're runnin' down Ed Abbey, man, you're
>walkin' on the fightin' side of me." I direct this comment to "Simon
>'Chico' Zapotes and BBB, °Mirth First!" your letter last Journal crossed
>the line. Ed Abbey was my friend, and a great man. I'm honored to have
>known him and am angered by those pretentious juvenile ideologues who
>insult his name. Come forth! Identify yourselves, you cowardly scum, and
>take responsibility for the slime which leaks from your ideologically
>enslaved brains to your slovenly pens.
>I hope to meet you in some dark lonely place. Soon.
>For the Earth First!,
>-Howie Wolke, Darby, MT
>Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... September 22, 1989
>Dear EF! & Howie,
>In response to your letter in the last Journal, the Revolutionary
>Ecoterrorist Pie Brigade has this to say: to set the record straight, we
>are in no way affiliated with the Biocentric Baker's Brigade ! (BBB) [sic].
>We purged that faction for their deviationist ideology, revisionist
>interpretations of the Unassailable Doctrines and for their vanguardist
>tendencies. They engage in petty boulangerie hooliganism for the
>furtherance of their hidden agenda and are usurpers! They dared to mock
>Betty-Crocker-Thought with their infantile propaganda! We have nothing to
>do with such counterrevolutionary decadence. We, the REPB, are the leading
>proponents of culinary terrorism and have mastered the science of Pastry
>Revolution. We are preparing to lead the masses on to Global Ecological
>Paradise using their Historically Available Instrument of eco-meringue and
>pretentious ideology. We have the correct line on The-Way-It-Is and anyone
>who is offended by this letter deserves to be!
>-Chairman Mikal, REPB.
>PS No, Howie, I didn't write either the BBB or °Mirth First! letters if you
>might possibly be thinking that. However, it was Simon "Chico" Z., myself
>and another who originated the idea of giving Abbey a frijole pie! And he
>would've loved it! Too bad we never got the chance. But, oh well, there are
>other deserving faces... (if you know what I mean).
>Subject: Dear Shit fer Brains... September 22, 1989
>O Brave Beloved Biotic Compadres,
>Suffer me speech a short span whilst I return the glove which one of our
>fellow EF! followers has foolishly flung at my feet. Howie Wolke of Darby,
>MT seems to have a beef about my last letter. Apparently the late Prosaic
>Laureate of ecocentrism is a sacred cow, and Howie has moved into the ring
>to defend him, while I remain in the shadows. I mistook him for a sacred
>clown. The value of sacred clowns, of mudhead kachinas in their mudpie
>kitchens, is that by ruthlessly criticizing everyone they allow us finally,
>after the mud has settled, to embrace each other honestly, knowing fully
>who we are. Especially because we are constantly challenging loggers and
>other industrial addicts to fundamentally change their lives, we should
>ourselves be willing to accept challenges to our fundamental behaviors,
>such as diet and relationships. Blind tolerance such as some have preached
>will only result in a false calm until our docility is disrupted by a
>panicked intolerance and we are stampeded to slaughter. Sacred clowns try
>to wake the herd up before we get to the cliffs. Why, then, do I remain
>outside the firelight? Anonymity is essential to sacred clowns, so the
>laughing stock responds not to them but to the issues. (My beckoning boxer
>is far beefier than I, and I doubt I would find his fighting side much
>prettier than his wit.) Moreover I do not stalk prey in the open; I like to
>stay hidden on the edges. There are others here in the brush, and a good
>reason why many of us use different names is so They (the industrial
>steering committee) won't know quite who or how many we are. And when
>you've hunted yourself it makes sense to stay in the woods. Finally, I find
>the names I choose myself certainly as real as my legal, Christian name. I
>am an ambling mammal labeled numerous names. Amongst others,
>I remain truly, -Simon "Coyote" Zapotes
>PS Howie: I'm not who you think, i.e. my initials have never been M.J., but
>I'll bet that when the pie hits, he and E.A. will be laughing together 'til
>the cows go home.
>But no pies had yet been thrown under that name until Judi Bari took
>Pie-rect Action...
>In the spring of 1994, the BBB embraced Judi Bari as their newest name
>agent. The pie-ee was attorney Mark Goldowitz of Oakland, who represented
>Nick Wilson, Beth Both and some other homeowners from the Albion,
>California, area who were being sued by Louisiana Pacific (LP) over a 54
>day, 15 treesit 1992 mega-action called the Albion Nation Uprising.
>Goldowitz claimed to be a SLAPP (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public
>Participation) suit specialist and was involved in the drafting of
>California's first anti-SLAPP law, which was sponsored by Bill Lockyer our
>new attorney general, then a legislator. Goldowitz sucked about $60,000 out
>of one activist's homeowners insurance policy for a few months work, but
>was unsuccessful in getting anyone out of the LP SLAPP suit. Earth
>First!ers and Albion residents were pissed at him for being such a gold
>digger (we called him Mark Goldiggerwitz). If the other homeowners'
>insurance companies had all been paying at the same rate, Goldowitz would
>have taken in over $500,000 for less than six months work.
>Judi Bari had been long scheduled to do a panel on SLAPP suits at the
>Oregon conference. Goldowitz showed up and refused to take part in her
>panel, but took copious notes during her presentation, then got himself
>scheduled at the last minute to do a separate presentation that afternoon
>at a time conflicting Judi's repeated panel. Her morning panel was lightly
>attended due to schedule conflicts with other popular activities and panels.
>Judi decided, most likely before the conference, that Goldowitz needed
>pastry therapy, but his arrogant behavior sealed his fate. Unfortunately,
>having been a bomb victim, Judi was unable to physically throw a pie with
>any amount of force herself (she was a brown belt and extremely agile
>before the bombing). So Judi recruited on the spot an instant member of the
>BBB. Together they walked up to Goldiggerwitz in the hallway of the
>university and heaved a pie at him, gracing him with his just desserts.
>"pie warfare"
>speaking pie to power--
>discussion with a crust--
>a flan for all seasons--
>we fling because we must.
>to pitch a perfect pastry--
>to see them whipped and creamed--
>to know that in the boardroom
>they're really getting steamed.
>it gives the suits conniptions--
>they're taking off their ties--
>they're rolling up their shirtsleeves--
>look out! they're grabbing pies!
>--Dennis Fritzinger, Poet Laurate of the global pastry uprising
>"Better to pie on your feet than live on your knees!" --Zapata
>The Biotic Baking Brigade.....coming soon to a "pie-o-region" near you.
>bbb@asis.com                              http://www.asis.com/~bbb/
>Friends of the BBB: c/o POB 40130, San Francisco, CA 94111, Amerika
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