Phil Graham on 8 Oct 2000 06:16:18 -0000

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[Nettime-bold] Standing orders on post-Olympics behaviour

Received from Craig Daniells
I am told that there is even a counselling service for those traumatised by 
post-party depression and other let-downs....


Now that the Olympics are over and we are no longer the centre of the 
universe (although we've always been pretty bloody close to it) it's time 
to get back to normal so:

1) You can stop smiling now.
2) Same goes for being nice to everyone.
3) People looking confused or lost whilst holding maps can be ignored as 
per usual.
4) People with foreign accents can be made fun of.
5) People wearing big ID badges around their necks should be told they look 
like dicks.
6) Same goes for wearing the official SOCOG volunteer gear. It's finished, 
get over it.
7) The Sydney 2000 t-shirts that sold at the Olympic Park Megastore for $60 
bucks last Friday are now being sold at Paddys Market at 3 for $10.
8) Chants of "Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi" will not be tolerated.  Police 
have sanctioned the use of violence against anyone who does.  Expect to 
hear the frequent sound of Police gunfire alot over the next week or two as 
those who have forgotten the Olympics are over are subtlely reminded.
9) Expect to hear the frequent sound of Police gunfire again anyway.
10) Wearing a tracksuit emblazoned with the name of some forgotten tinpot 
ex-Soviet Union dictatorship will no longer give you preferential entry 
into the best clubs in town. (Though I do have a few Krygystan ones still 
for sale at $14.95 for both shirt & pants, purely for novelty value of course.)
11) You don't have to watch Archery, Shooting, Greco-Roman Wrestling, 
Equestrian, Synchronised Swimming, Badminton, Hockey, Sailing, Tai Kwan Do 
etc etc ever again (at the very least not for another 4 years anyway.)
12) Trains will again start derailing and City Rail staff can go back to 
being their normal surly selves. "Mind your step Ladies and
Gentlemen" will be replaced by the familiar refrain of "The 5:28 to Berowra 
is delayed by 45 minutes and will now not be stopping at this station. 
Cityrail apologizes for the inconveniance but realizes that as you have no 
real alternatives you'll just have to put up with it. Ha ha ha ha ha......."
13) Ditto for the planes
14) And the buses
15) All the homeless people who were trucked out to "hospitality camps" 
will start reappearing in the inner city now that all the tv
  cameras have gone and Frank Sartor & Bob Carr admit to everyone "Yes, of 
course we were only hiding them while the Olympics were on. Whaddaya bloody 
16) All the new street plants will not be replaced.
17) There will be public hangings of anybody found wearing the following:
a) Australian flag capes
b) Australian flag caps & hats
c) Australian flag t-shirts
d) Australian flag flags
18) No one will use the Superdome, the Hockey stadium, the Baseball 
stadium, the Equestrian centre or the Archery & Shooting ranges again.
19) It will take you an hour & a half to drive 10km, not the 15 minute 
trips you've been blissfully enjoying for the last 2.5 weeks.
20) You'll never feel as un-selfconcious singing the national anthem or 
Waltzing Mathilda in a full subway car with complete strangers ever again.

Opinions expressed in this email are my own unless otherwise stated.
Phil Graham, Lecturer (Communication), Graduate School of Management
University of Queensland, Ph:  617 3381 1083; Fax:  617 3381 1083;
Mobile 0401 737 315; homepage:

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